February 2012
44 posts
Alan: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
Alan: I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Alan: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
Alan: Did Ceaser live here?
Alan: Oh, you know what? Next week's no good...the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.
Alan: He was a ruh-tard.
Alan: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... no one's there. Check its collar or something.
Alan: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Alan: It's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
"Fuck My Mind." xLosuh: Wise Words →
xlosuh:
from an employee at this Chinese food place.
He saw me and Jackson and Jackson just HAD to hold me in front of him (lol) and the guy asked Jackson, “Are you in love?”
Jackson and I looked at each other and he said, “Nope.”
(Yes, I do not “love” my boyfriend. Neither does he “love” me. We’re…
When you plug your charger into your phone
most-awkward-moments:
but hours later realize your charger wasn’t plugged in.
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